Mr. AWhen you are driving through the forest, watch out there are plenty of กวาง
Mrs. ANever come between a baby กวาง and its mother.
Mr. ADon’t ever fuck with กวาง
Mrs. Aกวาง fuck you up.
Mr. Aกวาง bite your ankles; ankles no longer beautiful.
Mrs. Aกวาง lick your wrist, calendar on watch stop working.
Mr. AForget about synching phone, Ipod.
Mrs. AComputer never see ipod again.
Mr. Aกวาง fuck you up. Fuck you up like there’s no tomorrow.
Mrs. Aกวาง own bed and breakfast at intersection of shit creek and world of hurt
Mr. Aกวาง laugh at flamethrower. Chortle at spear gun
Mrs. AMess with กวาง you will live to regret it, but not much longer
Mr. Aกวาง on you like ugly and white on ugly albino ape with skin problems
Mrs. Aกวาง ask around, find out where you live. Do nothing for a while. Then, one day, wake up with son’s balls in your mouth, lips sewn to your Grandpa’s anus. Feed Grandpa hot chili pepper, tacks and liquid plumber.
Mr. AGrandpa dead, กวาง find granduncle, or person of similar weight and build
Mrs. Aกวาง know all about genealogy and extended relations. กวาง go through database like running through field.
Mr. Aกวาง can wait. Not doing so well this year? Wait till next year. Wait until portfolio recovers and you work out long term career and general life plan. Then just after you buy furniture, กวาง find you on facebook.
Mrs. Aกวาง know you like food stall, kill vendor. กวาง know you like restaurant, burn restaurant down. กวาง see you rent Ocean’s 11 kill George Clooney and Julia Roberts. Dig up Frank Sinatra. Shit in hole. Kill Matt Damon for free.
Mr. Aกวาง know you look at กวาง, next thing you know, credit score ruined.
Mrs. ANever own own house. Forget about small business loan.
Mr. Aกวาง eat junkyard dog for breakfast. Shit wolverines for an hour.
Mrs. AWolverines shit tiny red spiders. Tiny red spiders burn down church and eat orphans.
Mr. Aกวาง rape your eyes with fork from food court. กวาง rape parts of you never raped before. กวาง rip out your heart and rape it, make liver and kidneys watch.
Mrs. AThey tried to do “Animal Planet” on กวาง. Network cannot show two and half hours of host begging for sweet release of death.
Mr. Aกวาง kick you so hard in balls ontogeny recapitulate phylogeny. Also balls fly up throat, backwards through time, explode in brain of distant ancestor.
Mrs. Aกวาง here to kick ass and chew gum. Gum not invented yet.
Mr. ADon't ever mess with กวาง
Mrs. ADon't even talk about it
- Why are you messing with กวาง ?
- You want to die, or what?
- Do you know what's good for you/what's comin'?
Example : Question: Do you know who am I talking to? Answer: A fucking dead man.
- What am I looking at?
- You know what you are?
- Allow me to introduce Bruce. Bruce this is _ ______ ___ ___.